Hope
Heals
Larry Berkelhammer, PhD
Living with chronic pain,
malaise, fatigue, or disability on a daily basis for any length of time
commonly leads to depression. The depression itself is unhealthy and
debilitating. However, antidepressants are not the answer; they should be
reserved for major depressive disorder rather than situational depression. If
you commit the time and effort to explore ways to practice living a full life
within your limitations, you will see for yourself that the feelings of
helplessness and hopelessness you sometimes experience as a result of your
illness will give way to a sense of optimism and great wellbeing—and that this
remarkable transformation of your feelings is always in your own hands.
It is a universal human need to
feel that we are in control of our lives. Chronic illness can rob us of that
sense of control. However, we can get it back. The need to be in control of our
lives is greatly underappreciated and is essential for our health and
wellbeing.
The appreciation of our power to
make choices is especially important for those of us living with chronic illness
because our physical challenges often appear to rob us of choice. Our mobility
may become limited, we may tire too easily to engage in favorite activities for
as long as we would like. We may have to spend countless hours at doctors’
offices and clinics when we’d really rather be working, being with family or
friends, or spending quiet time in solitude.
Although it may often seem as if
we’ve been robbed of our ability to choose how to live our lives, achieving
control of the choices we do have makes all the difference in living an
optimally healthy life. Identifying our values and making choices that are in
accord what we value can keep us from succumbing to feelings of hopelessness
and helplessness, both of which are emotional states that have been shown to
lead to declining health and unnecessary suffering.
“I Am Choosing
…” Practice
A very powerful practice that I
recommend involves a commitment to form the habit of prefacing all our actions
with: “I am choosing…”
There is no action that is too
insignificant to include in this practice. Be sure to include thoughts as
well as actions, such as:
I am choosing to get out of bed.
I am choosing to exercise.
I’m choosing to think about my day.
I’m choosing to complain about the pain in my
back.
I’m choosing to focus on the benefits of the
invasive test I chose to schedule.
This practice involves making the
phrase I am choosing a part of
moment-to-moment awareness. This moment-to-moment emphasis on choice is a
powerful antidote to the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that so
often plague those of us who live with chronic medical conditions.
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