Silver and Gold

If you were to ask someone who has known me my whole life, they will probably tell you that I'm a good friend.  I think so anyways.  I have the best friends too!  The kind I haven't talked to in months but can pick up right where we left off when we do talk.  The kind that still remember the moments that made us laugh and don't dare to bring up the most embarrassing ones.  Or maybe they do, but its all in good spirit.  Old friends that are spread all over the world.  So far away.  But so easy to hold on to. That's the best thing about growing up on a tiny little island in the middle of the pacific ocean.  Everyone knows everyone.  You are friends with everyone.  And that Kwaj Kid bond is one like no other! You don't make friends, you just are friends with everyone! 

Making new friends here in Texas has been a struggle. I have met a few moms though school and then there is my old neighbor who I adore, but never get to see.  But between living in someone elses house and being sick, I am afraid to let myself have friends. Because really who wants to hang out with a person who cant do a lot of the fun things and who needs to get a ride everywhere.  Today I was talking to a friend whos son and Anthony are best buds.  Well she lives about an hour out of town.  Its pointless for her to drive all the way out here for a short play date.  I know that.  And even if we wanted to meet half way during the week,  still impossible because I cant drive.  But what can I do?  I cant expect everyone to come to me...  Hi want to be my friend and only hang out at my house?  Unless you want to drive me and my kids around.  Doesn't sound like a well balanced friendship.  There are a few wonderful ladies who have offered to come take me out.  But I feel like such a burden!  I can feel myself avoiding people when what I really want is to meet people.  I hate it!

Its just been one of those days.  So much to do, but nothing can get done because not only am I not allowed to drive, but I don't know how to either. But I plan on learning this year so that its one less thing I have to do when I'm better!  And I'm actually excited now.  There are so many places I'm going to go.  That's what I tell myself now.  I'm sure once I can drive, staying home wont be so bad.  You know how that goes, when someone says don't do something, all you want to do is that.  Yeah, that's me right now!  So frustrating.