I used to be a New Years resolution kinda girl. Then after years of making them and failing miserably I changed the way I welcome and work though the year. Now I narrow it down to one word. By picking one word for the year and using it as a guide for the next twelve months, I was able to zero in on what I wanted to do, and break it down in baby steps. Which just works better for me.
Last years my word was heal. I spent day after day working on sorting though moments and memories that I have been hiding away in a closet it the deepest parts of my heart and letting go of so much that had been holding me back. I learned a lot about myself and accepted a lot too. It wasn't easy work, and its not done but Im ready to move forward. And all the healing I did paved the way for this years word.
This years word is Balance.
In learning more about myself and making peace with who I am, I really wanted to keep moving forward with my healing but I needed to come out of the dark space it put me in. I was able to think about who I wanted to be and what I needed to do to become my truest self. But how do I continue healing and working on happiness at the same time? Exactly...
Ive always been one to go all in on things. Even if I failed, I was up to the challenge. But I see that one of the reasons I kept failing was because I was never able to focus on more than one thing. Last year when I was working on healing, I got lost in the dark of it. When I tried to lock down my nutrition, I couldn't stay consistent with working out. When I try to be a better mom, I forget about being a wife too. SO, I want to work at balancing all the things that make me, me. Because I am more than just one thing. And I know I deserve to work on myself as a whole and not just one piece at a time. I feel like this years word will be the perfect place to start.
How do I be a good wife and mom while being my own self too?
How do I push myself to be healthy but give myself grace for being sick?
How do I tear down the walls of trauma but put up some boundaries at the same time?
How do I take care of myself and others in general?
How do I commit to nutrition and movement and mental health all together?
How do I allow myself to rest but push myself out of my comfort zone at times?
How do I show up for my loved ones and take time for myself?
How do I enjoy the things that make me happy and what makes them happy?
So many things to do, and I want to do them all without burning myself out.
The last couple of years have been hard. For everyone. As if life as a parent and just as a human living in this world wasn't hard enough, the pandemic brought out even more heaviness. Being a mom is hard. Living with chronic illness is hard. Just surviving is hard. I get it. But Im ready to push back against life. Im ready to show up and make my own happiness again. Im ready to find my balance.
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